15 April 2011
人死後的真正秘密!!!
這個世界上存在着太多的假象,一不留神,我們就會落入一個精心構造的陷阱。
孟婆的傳說就是一個陷阱。據說,陰間的鬼魂在投生之前都要在孟婆那裏喝一碗湯,這碗湯能令他忘卻前生,轉世投胎。這個神話千百年來被無數H深信不疑,多少 個在陽間飽受苦難的靈魂,毫不猶豫地将那碗湯一飲而盡,爲的是迎來一個嶄新的人生。可是誰又能知道,下一步迎接他們的卻是一個驚天大陰謀呢?
要了解這一陰謀,首先要從食物問題着手。在陰間要不要吃東西呢?答案是肯定的,逢年過節人們爲親人鬼魂準備的祭禮食品就是證明。不過人們在獻上祭品時大概 都沒有想過:地獄裏的工作人員他們吃什麽呢?當然,十殿閻羅可以在廟裏受到祭祀,不用擔心餓肚子,可那些受不到祭祀的鬼卒們有什麽可吃呢?文獻中沒有上級 機關也就是天庭給地獄的财政撥款記錄,地獄也非工非農,大概可歸入第三産業或公益事業範疇,缺少經濟來源,地獄鬼卒成千上萬,吃飯的問題如何解決?一位陰 間神靈的行爲給了我們一條線索,他就是在無數畫家筆下兼職模特的猛男鍾馗。一提起他,有的人也許會恍然大悟:他是吃鬼的呀!對,鍾馗是吃鬼的。陰間的工作 人員經常到陽間出差的,也就是他和黑白無常等少數幾個。黑白無常工作内容簡單,鐵鏈一抖鎖住鬼魂回去就可複命,還趕得上吃工作餐。鍾馗就不一樣了,他的職 責是追捕逃出地獄的鬼魂。常年在外,吃飯就要自己解決,這也就讓我們發現了地獄裏的秘密:原來,他們是把鬼魂作爲食物的。這時我們再來審視有關孟婆的傳 說,一個大陰謀的輪廓就逐漸浮現了出來。
據傳成書于宋代的《玉曆寶鈔》裏記載,孟婆的上班地點是地獄裏的最後一站,喝完湯鬼魂們就直接投胎,而到了明清,孟婆的工作單位卻換成了鬼魂們剛進地獄時 的接待站,爲什麽呢?這是問題之一。孟婆湯有甘、苦、辛、酸、鹹各種不同的味道,爲什麽要搞出這麽多的口味呢?這是問題之二。地獄裏有很多刑罰,如油炸、 湯煮、熱煎、清蒸、鹹鹵、搗漿等,爲什麽這些刑罰那麽像食品加工程序呢?這是問題之三。将這三個問題一串,再加上地獄裏的機構設置,我們不難發現,整個地 獄同時就是一個食品加工的流水線:第一站孟婆,給鬼魂們灌下各種風味的湯,如果有膽敢不喝的,就用鈎刀絆住雙腳,銅管刺喉強灌,鬼魂們人事不省之時,就是 灌湯包初步作成之日,經奈何橋送入下一站.第二站,十殿閻羅之一秦廣王,秦廣王處的主要建築是孽鏡台,号稱照人善惡,其實乃檢查食品的透視機。檢驗完畢 後,包子胚們送入第三站,十殿閻羅之二楚江王。
楚江王處有若幹小地獄,如五叉、銅斧、多銅斧、斫截、劍葉等,這些明顯是用在食品切割方面的,切割完成後,包子胚們送入冷庫——寒冰地獄保鮮,寒冰地獄前 面又有狐狼地獄,作用相當于看守冷庫大門的看門狗。等到再從寒冰地獄運出來,包子胚們就要上籠了。牛頭馬面最常用的是什麽兵器?兩股叉。它們就用這種餐 叉,叉着自己喜歡口味的包子,去其餘各殿煎炒烹炸,準備盤中美餐。所以,從古到今流傳的地獄懲罰惡行的傳說,事實上卻是鬼卒們饕餮的盛宴!
很多悲慘的故事都被加上了一個陽光的結尾,爲的是讓人們保留一點希望,卻不管有多少人被這個結尾欺騙。然而現在是二十一世紀,我們企盼着人文奧運,我們學 過了三個代表。爲了保護大多數人們的利益,不讓他們成爲地獄裏的小吃,我們要掀起這層虛僞的面紗,如果你要下地獄,希望你能聽見我們的呼喊:飛奔吧!灌湯包,跑出地獄,不要讓鍾馗抓到你。
原來在人間遇到的鬼都是從地獄跑出來的自由戰士.鍾馗人們還以爲他是正義的,結果他不過是地獄來的靈魂終結者,你遇到的鬼可能會吓到你,其實它隻是想向你 求助或者警告,但可惜陰陽兩隔它喝拉孟婆湯已經喪失說話能力,在你面前張牙舞爪隻不過是想向你訴說它的悲慘遭遇,而人們不明就裏隻餘恐懼.也不想想他以前 也是人爲什麽要吓你,隻是想警告人們不要重倒他的覆轍!所以看到鬼能收留的收留,相貌欠佳的燒點香送送,不用大驚小怪.看到鍾馗潑點童子尿或黑狗血什麽 的。
另外從一個人看貼後的反映就知道這個人死後會受到什麽待遇,比如很多人看貼不回,因爲看貼不回有各種原因,所以死後味道不同,死後一般會清蒸,這樣才能保 持不回貼的人的原汁原味.然後就是很多人一個頂字了事,這種人就很懶,一身膘肉也不好吃,所以隻開膛破肚取内髒,搞個水煮湯什麽的,肉不好吃内髒還是一樣 的.另外還有就是滿嘴髒話的,這種人嘴臭肉也臭,不吃麽?不會,這種人一般是油炸,中國幾千年的油炸臭豆腐就是這麽來得,陽間自然不能油炸人,陰間可以 啊,比油炸臭豆腐好吃多拉.還有就是有種人不相信權威,總是唱反調,不同意我以上的資料的,死後一般就是拿鐵棍穿起來燒烤,因爲烤全人的時候人不會失去意 識,隻會感覺到疼痛,疼痛使人思想運算飛快(人急生智嘛),便于好好反省自己的錯誤思想.好好回貼的人一般就聰敏,有思想有道德有品質,到拉陰間小鬼拿不 住你把柄,想吃你又想不出什麽辦法來,剩的費事,把你随便找個角落一丢完事,說不定你還是可以來陽間再混混的.今天鬼節給先人們燒點紙和衣服,讓先人們好 賄賂賄賂小鬼,不燒?這種人連心都沒,鬼都不吃你把你仍給魔獸,魔獸可不管你有心沒心先玩玩你,玩的半死不活在祭祭牙(咔嚓)。
References: http://emily16344.blogspot.com/2010/09/blog-post_7586.html
Labels:
Horror
14 April 2011
史上最恐怖的9篇超短篇 *靈異故事*,你有種看嗎?
1、紅絲帶
一位醫生在做完急診後已是午夜,正準備回家。走到電梯門口,見一女護士,便一同乘電梯下樓,可電梯到了一樓還不停,一直向下。到了B3時,門開了,電 梯門開了,一個小女孩出現在他們眼前,低著頭說要搭電梯。醫生見狀急忙關上電梯門,護士奇怪地問:「為什麼不讓她上來。」醫生說:「B3是我們醫院的停屍 房,醫院給每個屍體的右手都綁了一根紅絲帶,她的右手,他的右手有一根紅絲帶……」護士聽了,漸漸伸出右手,陰笑一聲說:「是不是……這樣的一根紅繩啊?
2、你嗎?
朋友是從菲律賓到加拿大留學,在加拿大唸書的時候,和母親共住一間小房子.朋友的書桌擺放在房間的角落,旁邊有一扇窗.朋友是個十分用功的人,但搬進房子 後不久,每當他坐在書桌前專心唸書時,便感覺到一直有東西輕輕的敲著他的頸子.起初他以為是自己神經過敏,便不太在意,但久而久之,這種感覺便一直存在, 只要他一坐在書桌前,就不停的感覺到有東西輕觸他的頸子,然而只要一離開書桌,這種感覺便消失無蹤.於是他便將這個情形告訴他母親,他母親就找了個算命師 詢問算命師告訴他,有許多肉眼看不到的東西可以被照像機所捕捉,於是就叫他下次再有這種感覺時馬上拍張照片,說不定可以解開謎底.朋友半信半疑,回到家後 便坐回桌前唸書,不一會又感覺到有東西輕輕敲著他的脖子,他的母親馬上替他拍了張照片,趕緊送去照相館沖洗.拿到照片時,兩人皆嚇得臉色發白,照片上在朋 友身旁的,是一雙懸在空中的腳,原來朋友一直感覺到的,便是上吊自殺的那個人懸在空中的腳,因在空中擺盪而不停的輕觸他的頸...
3、紅衣服
這個故事是貓撲鬼話裡的一個朋友貢獻的,講述自己學校宿舍的故事:
我們學校是個外語學校,有一些時間夜裡經常有一個穿紅衣服的女子深夜上門推銷,也不知道她是怎麼逃過樓下檢查的.天天夜裡都來,一間間房間的敲,如果有人 開門就問;'要不要紅衣服/'由於女生被吵後非常生氣,都大叫著不要,一連幾個晚上都這樣.有一個晚上,那個女子又來了.咚!咚!這時門開了,從裡面衝出 一個女生對她大吼;"什麼紅色的衣服?我全要了.多少錢?"
那女子笑了笑,轉身走了,也沒給她紅色的衣服,那晚上大家都睡得很好,沒有人再來敲門了.第二天,宿舍裡的人全都起來了,只有那個沖紅衣女子大吼的女生還 沒有起床,她的同學把她的被子掀開,她,她渾身都是紅色的,她上身的皮已經被剝開了.血流得渾身都是,看起來就像是穿了一件紅衣服。
4、女廁所的手紙
這個也是女生宿舍的故事,
一個女生晚上去上廁所.因為夜太深了,她一個人去上廁所,心裡非常的害怕.可是因為晚上吃了什麼東西,肚子十分不好受,又不能硬撐,只好心驚膽戰地去.
廁所是在剛有學校就有了的舊廁所,女生剛蹲下沒多久,在她身後有一雙蒼白的手伸了過來.她嚇了一大跳,只見那隻手上有兩張紙,一張白一張黃.一個可怕的聲 音說到:"選一張,白的還是黃的"女生很害怕,問到"你是誰?""白的還是黃的""為什麼要選""選一張吧."女生沒辦法,只好選了一張白的.聲音笑 到:"白的三天黃的七天.便消失了."女生打開門,可是門外什麼也沒有啊.她嚇壞了/忙回到宿舍,告訴朋友們這件事,朋友笑她太緊張了,神經出了毛病了. 她堅持說自己當時很清醒的.大家討論了一會兒,結果是不會有事的.
可是過了三天,這個女生莫名地就死了.沒有人知道她是怎麼死的,她的死因證明上寫著死因不明
只有她的同學們知道是怎麼回事,從此以後沒有敢晚上一個人上廁所的了!!!
5、太平間裡的鏡子
有一所醫學院,為了教育出有素質的學生.規定每一學期的期末考試時,讓一個學生單獨在太平間裡呆上一個晚上.雖然這種考試看上去不太人道,可是校方卻一直堅持了下來.
這一回,輪到了一向自稱膽子很大的阿美了,阿美在學校裡一向以膽大包天自居,而且是貓撲等許多論壇的鬼故事寫手,以嚇死網友為樂.她早就說過不把這種考試 當回事了,可是,當校方宣佈今天輪到她時,她還是驚出了一頭冷汗.必竟是一個人獨自在漆黑的太平間一個晚上啊.還不准點燈....
晚上,阿美被帶到了太平間裡,砰的一聲,門被關上了.屋子裡一下子一片漆黑,什麼也看不到.阿美縮在了屋子的一角,當她想到四周全部都是死人時,她的頭皮 頓時一陣陣發麻...過了一會兒,月光照了進來,藉著月光,阿美發現太平間的牆上居然有一面鏡子.於是,她便對著鏡子開始唱起歌來.她一直唱啊唱啊,直唱 到了天亮...
第二天,腫著嗓子的阿美被帶了出來,她得意洋洋地對大家說沒什麼了不起的,對自己來說只是一件小事罷了.大家都很佩服她,這時,有一個同學問她嗓子怎麼腫 了?她說自己在太平間裡對著鏡子唱了一夜的歌,今天早上才不唱的.這時,大家的臉色變了,阿美還不解其意...停了半天,有一個同學臉色慘白地告訴她 ___
太平間裡根本沒有鏡子啊!!!!
6、蠟燭
他跟她是青梅竹馬,以為能攜手看夕陽。
35歲時,她得了肺癌。拿著診斷書,哭了笑,笑了哭。不抽煙,沒有任何不良嗜好,何以得了肺癌?
她來到他辦公室,卻看到他桌上一袋自己素日最愛吃的乾果,旁邊,放著個藥瓶子,說明觸目驚心。她流下淚來,紅色。
三日後,她哭著為他點燃生日蠟燭,他不在。
她點燃了34根長蠟燭,一根短蠟燭,低笑道:你真是瘦了,都不夠做35根蠟燭的。
先看一遍,覺得什麼都沒說,再看,看懂了,背後一陣寒意.有點難懂,大家看懂了麼?
7、死也不讓你死
死也不讓你死在北京有一對高中男女同學,他們很要好,學習也很不錯,在學習生活上都互相幫助,共同進步。後來男孩子上到南京的一所大學,女孩子在北京的一所大學。他們互相聯繫並確立的戀愛關係。他們約好等大學畢業後雙雙回到美麗的家鄉工作結婚生子。
但是時間太能改變一個人了,北京的女孩子經受不了誘惑,為了能夠留在北京。她結識了一個比自己大好多的老闆,並決定就這樣留在北京,做北京人。男朋友知道 後。一路悲傷到北京約女孩談心。但是女孩很絕情。要和男孩子分手,恩斷義絕。男孩子一時氣憤衝動。拿起水果刀就割自己的手腕。女孩子不但沒有阻攔,甚至都 沒有叫救護車並且看著男孩流盡了血,在抽搐和絕望中死去。直到死,他都死死的盯著女孩,盼他回去。
不久以後女孩懷孕了,生了一個小男孩。可是孩子老是鬧得厲害。女孩子沒有辦法。決定把孩子送給自己的媽媽帶著。說來很奇怪,她一做這個決定,孩子就不鬧了。
回到家鄉的感覺很好,可惜是在夜裡,車的終點站離家還有一段距離。她就抱著孩子往家走。突然她看到孩子死死的盯著她在咀嚼什麼東西。翻看衣服一看,孩子在 啃自己的手,手已經被啃的稀巴爛。女孩嚇壞了。一個趔趄就坐在地上。孩子上來就咬住她的頸動脈,死死的盯著她。那種熟悉的眼神。
孩子啃斷她的動脈咿呀的說。死也不讓你死在北京!……
8、沒人和我搶了
有一個男生晚上要坐公車回家,可是因為他到站牌等的時候太晚了,他也不確定到底還有沒有車....又不想走路.因為他家很遠很偏僻,所以只好等著有沒有末 班車....等啊等啊....他正覺得應該沒有車的時候,忽然看見遠處有一輛公車出現了....他很興奮的去攔車.一上車他發現這末班很怪,照理說最後一 班車人應該不多,因為路線偏遠,但是這台車卻坐滿了...只有一個空位,而且車上靜靜靜地沒有半個人說話.....他覺得有點詭異,可是仍然走向那個唯一 的空位坐下來,那空位的旁邊有個女的坐在那裡,等他一坐下,那個女的就悄聲對他說:"你不應該坐這班車的,"他覺得很希奇,那個女人繼續說:"這班車,不 是給活人坐的......""你一上車,他們(比一比車上的人)就會抓你去當替死鬼的."他很害怕,可是又不知道該怎麼辦才好,結果那個女的對他說:"沒 關係,我可以幫你逃出去."於是她就拖著他拉開窗戶跳了下去,當他們跳的時候,他還聽見"車"裡的**喊大叫著"竟然讓他跑了"的聲音.....等他站穩 時候,他發現他們站在一個荒涼的山坡,他鬆了一口氣,連忙對那個女的道謝.那個女的卻露出了希奇的微笑:""現在,沒有人跟我搶了......."
9、夢中情人
寧最近總是夢見同一個夢,夢裡一個男人對她說:"你來嘛,你來找我嘛,我等你....."終於,寧忍不住了,於是問他,:"你是誰?我怎麼才能找到你 呢?"男人說:"明天中午12點在xx公園門口的站台上來找我,我這裡有一顆痣."男人用手指著自己的下巴.醒來,寧匆匆找到自己的好友並把一切告訴好 友,好友答應陪同她一起前往.中午11點55分兩人在約定的地方等,卻不見男人來,天氣炎熱,寧對好友說:"太熱了,我到對面買兩支雪糕,你在這裡等 我."說完寧過街去了.就在這時,一輛車子衝了過來,一聲慘叫......好友跑過來一看寧,已倒在血泊中.當打開車門預備把寧送到醫院時,才發現這是一 輛靈車,而車上的玻璃棺材中躺著個男人,男人的下巴有一顆痣.....好友恍然,看看自己的手錶,現在的時間是12點整.再探探寧的呼吸,已經停止了。
References: http://www.douban.com/group/topic/9370150/
Labels:
Horror
13 April 2011
電台DJ不敢播的一首歌,皆因一播就鬧鬼
今日真係好攰呀!今朝交咗Assignment同食完麦记后返嚟就瞓到岩岩瞓醒,点知一打开facebook就睇到以上标题嘅post啦... 好奇之下就入去睇一睇下啦....
原来嗰首歌就係...
唔知道,大家有冇聽講過,電台裡面總會有一些歌曲會被列為「禁歌」呢?
原因當然唔係話歌曲的歌詞太過露骨大膽,又或者歌詞的題材太過敏感,太政治化。
而是因為每次播放呢啲 歌,當晚電台裡面就自然會有事發生,雖然你可以話係巧合,不過如果每次都有咁嘅事情發生,就唔到你唔懷疑,甚至有好多好多的揣測。
而其中我所知道既一首禁播歌曲,係屬於一位已經淡出樂壇既女歌手既一首舊作,呢首歌曲相信好多人都會聽過,因為呢首歌曾經於係80年代一齣電影嘅主體曲, 更曾經紅極一時添。不過近年,呢首歌已經好少DJ 會播。就算真係要播放都絕少會於深宵既節目裡面播放...........
其實個故事係一個做電台既朋友話比我知。
話說當佢初入行既時候,係一個網上電台嘅見習,有一次佢handle 個黃昏節目,負責揀歌嘅時候,蹲番呢首歌出o鐸。起初冇人去理佢做乜,以為佢只係播一啲 普通流行曲。點知道當隻歌嘅音樂一奏起,個producer 就好緊張地闖入control room ,問我朋友點解播呢首歌......
講真,我個朋友好少見個producer 會緊張成咁。
事後,我好奇地問點解佢個producer 咁緊張,而我朋友話我知原來多年來,電台裡面都有一啲 歌,係唔可以亂播。
就好似呢首歌咁,每次播出都會有怪事發生,而佢初初入行時,試過有晚做深夜節目,當時錄音室有幾個新人(包括果位producer);有人負責開咪,有人負責on panel,有人就做錄音剪接嘅練習。
而當晚當呢首歌播緊嘅時候,做錄音嘅同事,發現錄到一啲怪聲,佢播緊新聞,叫另外兩個人一齊聽,原來裡面竟然錄到一把女人聲,果把聲好慘,好依一路喊,一路跟住旋律哼歌咁。最後唯有將件事話比帶佢哋嘅前輩 聽,個前輩就同佢哋講,呢件事已經唔係第一次發生。只叫佢哋以後盡量唔好再播呢首歌,就應該沒事。
"夜夜癡纏"
麥潔文嘅歌,早幾年經常喺903蔡康年做嘅恐怖節目度播,被DJ 喻為『商台邪歌』…
所以呢首歌由出事之後都再冇電台播,至某電台有一個靈異節目(羅君左主持),佢為咗證實真相,某晚就播咗呢首歌,點知....電台走廊有人見到有黑影,廁所又有人見到有嘢,聽眾又話聽完首歌後被鬼壓床之類,佢哋即時知道出咗事,事後主持人講咗呢首歌嘅歌名同主唱者,原來係好多年前麥潔文响電影《靈氣迫人》嘅主題曲"夜夜癡纏",聽講係因為歌曲既音樂會招惹到果啲 "兄弟".................... 欣賞麥潔雯嘅夜夜癡纏(靈氣迫人主題曲)歌曲......
References: http://cforum.cari.com.my/viewthread.php?tid=2239135
麥潔文嘅歌,早幾年經常喺903蔡康年做嘅恐怖節目度播,被DJ 喻為『商台邪歌』…
所以呢首歌由出事之後都再冇電台播,至某電台有一個靈異節目(羅君左主持),佢為咗證實真相,某晚就播咗呢首歌,點知....電台走廊有人見到有黑影,廁所又有人見到有嘢,聽眾又話聽完首歌後被鬼壓床之類,佢哋即時知道出咗事,事後主持人講咗呢首歌嘅歌名同主唱者,原來係好多年前麥潔文响電影《靈氣迫人》嘅主題曲"夜夜癡纏",聽講係因為歌曲既音樂會招惹到果啲 "兄弟".................... 欣賞麥潔雯嘅夜夜癡纏(靈氣迫人主題曲)歌曲......
References: http://cforum.cari.com.my/viewthread.php?tid=2239135
Labels:
Horror
23 March 2011
Hongky, Singaporean, Indonesian or Malaysian... Which one is better ???
Which nationality do u like???
Being a Hongky is good because...
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can talk and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our icon.
4. We can live in a 5' x 5' cubicle and call it luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle.
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can talk and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our icon.
4. We can live in a 5' x 5' cubicle and call it luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle.
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the place to go for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.
We love being Singaporean because..
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially Malaysians) hates us, except ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia - keep a few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can speed and throw anything, anytime, anywhere.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the place to go for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.
We love being Singaporean because..
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially Malaysians) hates us, except ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia - keep a few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can speed and throw anything, anytime, anywhere.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour on Malaysian roads and not end up with a summon as long as we have RM50 with us to pay the traffic cops when caught.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a girl 'Do you have CPF?'
9. Never fear of getting lost in our country - S$20 taxi ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit... nyek nyek nyek.
12. It's OK to be 'Kiasu'. It's part of our culture.
Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follow...
1. We are not Australian.
2. We live in the biggest country in South East Asia .
3. No pirates in Indonesia water if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is cheap, even our salaries...
5. We can blame everything to Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus Dur or Megawati or who's next?
6. Only in Indonesia you can get involved in real demonstrations daily for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so...
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing... nyek nyek nyek.
9. Never fear of getting lost in our country - S$20 taxi ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit... nyek nyek nyek.
12. It's OK to be 'Kiasu'. It's part of our culture.
Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follow...
1. We are not Australian.
2. We live in the biggest country in South East Asia .
3. No pirates in Indonesia water if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is cheap, even our salaries...
5. We can blame everything to Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus Dur or Megawati or who's next?
6. Only in Indonesia you can get involved in real demonstrations daily for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so...
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing... nyek nyek nyek.
9. We do not need fire fighters as our neighbours will provide...
Being a Malaysian is the best because...
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates, because Malaysia Boleh!
Being a Malaysian is the best because...
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates, because Malaysia Boleh!
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another driver, talking on the handphone, adjusting the radio and bribing the traffic police at the same time.
3. We can get a divorce by sending just an SMS.
4. Traffic summons can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We can have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity because our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or government or the opposition parties or...
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van, one to carry the ladder, one to change a street's bulb and three others watching...
4. Traffic summons can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We can have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity because our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or government or the opposition parties or...
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van, one to carry the ladder, one to change a street's bulb and three others watching...
9. Most drivers can make 2 lane trunk roads into 3 lane highway and back to 2 lanes when police are sighted
10. There's always something for the JKR/TNB/TALIKOM/SYABAS to do. They dig, resurface the road, dig and resurface...and blame each other for bad co-ordination.
10. There's always something for the JKR/TNB/TALIKOM/SYABAS to do. They dig, resurface the road, dig and resurface...and blame each other for bad co-ordination.
11. All main roads are designated highway because it gives Samy Velu a reason to collect toll.
12. Our government can never be wrong or dishonest.
13. Our badminton players are paid only RM35,000 when they win a major international tournament which is very cheap compared to David Beckham.
12. Our government can never be wrong or dishonest.
13. Our badminton players are paid only RM35,000 when they win a major international tournament which is very cheap compared to David Beckham.
14. You can easily get a divorce and marry a young singer you like.
15. We can even use C4 explosives to bombard Gengkis Khan or Kublai Khan's great grandchildren.
16. We have more water than Singapore .... nyek nyek nyek.
17. If you have no money you can always snatch other peoples' money since police can't do much to help.
18. If you are a police, doesn't matter about the traffic rules, its for citizens only.
19. If you are a policeman outrider you can kick and bang peoples' cars.
20. If you drive a police car, you can speed because speed limits only apply to citizens.
21. You can settle your summons with big discount during “Sales Malaysia ”.
22. All motor riders can join the recognized & supported Mat Rempit club for free and can beat up anybody in their way and can even throw stones at the police station anytime they like.
15. We can even use C4 explosives to bombard Gengkis Khan or Kublai Khan's great grandchildren.
16. We have more water than Singapore .... nyek nyek nyek.
17. If you have no money you can always snatch other peoples' money since police can't do much to help.
18. If you are a police, doesn't matter about the traffic rules, its for citizens only.
19. If you are a policeman outrider you can kick and bang peoples' cars.
20. If you drive a police car, you can speed because speed limits only apply to citizens.
21. You can settle your summons with big discount during “Sales Malaysia ”.
22. All motor riders can join the recognized & supported Mat Rempit club for free and can beat up anybody in their way and can even throw stones at the police station anytime they like.
23. If you got nothing to do join the rela and go to the kongsi gelap and extort monies from all the foreign workers.
24. You can rape people and blame them for wearing very little.
25. You don’t need to bother about the poor when you race in your F1.
26. You can keep your money and get a free degree when you have 'connections'.
27. You can get work done with 2 hours lunch break, 2 hours tea break, 2 hours with god and the rest of the time attending meetings.
25. You don’t need to bother about the poor when you race in your F1.
26. You can keep your money and get a free degree when you have 'connections'.
27. You can get work done with 2 hours lunch break, 2 hours tea break, 2 hours with god and the rest of the time attending meetings.
28. You get free bumi status even if you swim from Indonesia .
29. You can change your sworn Statutory Declaration anytime.
30. You can be a pedophile by “marrying” your young bride.
31 . A country so free to do things you like. Tell me which country is like ours.
29. You can change your sworn Statutory Declaration anytime.
30. You can be a pedophile by “marrying” your young bride.
31 . A country so free to do things you like. Tell me which country is like ours.
Labels:
Society Awareness
05 April 2010
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010
COLLABOZONK... That is the crew form by us after the Miracle Creator Dance Crew (MCDC)... It's also is the collaborate of MCDC & Mamakroteez...
There is a new begin of year 2010 and it's also the fortunate for me that can join the Showdown 2010 competition with my Czonkers. Showdown 2010... It's one of the most memorable dance experience in my dance life... I won't forget it in my life and will take it as reminder for me to remember what the purpose we did it and what should i do in the future...
Here is the related links that regarding COLLABOZONK and 8TV Showdown 2010...
8TV Showdown 2010 (Official Website)
8TV Showdown 2010 (Facebook Fan Page)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 - Episode 1 (YouTube)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 - Episode 1 (Vimeo)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 - Episode 1 from Blue Lee on Vimeo.
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 : Episode 1 [HQ] (Facebook)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode 1 (YouTube)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode 1 (Vimeo)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode 1 from Blue Lee on Vimeo.
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode1 (Facebook)
Thanks to all of my Czonkers for provided me the to hav' this memorable experience...
I proud with our Collabozonk spirit...
ZONK forever...
There is a new begin of year 2010 and it's also the fortunate for me that can join the Showdown 2010 competition with my Czonkers. Showdown 2010... It's one of the most memorable dance experience in my dance life... I won't forget it in my life and will take it as reminder for me to remember what the purpose we did it and what should i do in the future...
Here is the related links that regarding COLLABOZONK and 8TV Showdown 2010...
8TV Showdown 2010 (Official Website)
8TV Showdown 2010 (Facebook Fan Page)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 - Episode 1 (YouTube)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 - Episode 1 (Vimeo)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 - Episode 1 from Blue Lee on Vimeo.
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Sneak peek #4 : Episode 1 [HQ] (Facebook)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode 1 (YouTube)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode 1 (Vimeo)
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode 1 from Blue Lee on Vimeo.
COLLABOZONK on 8TV Showdown 2010 - Episode1 (Facebook)
Thanks to all of my Czonkers for provided me the to hav' this memorable experience...
I proud with our Collabozonk spirit...
ZONK forever...
Labels:
My Journey
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